Making Time for the "Here and Now"
Taking a deep breath and feeling to consciously make choices that nurture us.
Not long ago, while chatting with a friend, I realized that the more broken I feel on the inside, the more connected I am to the here and now. Somehow, when I enter that state of deep fear, the fear of not knowing what will happen to me next in terms of health, of life itself, a profound connection to what really matters appears, almost like magic. All the extras, the thoughts and worries, even the dreams and wishes, just vanish, and I return to myself.
The here and now is an incredibly peaceful place; it simply is. There’s nothing to worry about, nothing to regret or let go of, not even dreams or desires to question… no uncertainties. In the here and now, I am, and I am alive.
Though this sounds promising, it’s a state I don’t reach often. I can access it when I close my eyes and embrace the silence, but somehow, I don’t always find time for it. It feels as if life is happening to me, as if I have no control over it, like my time is filled with things I haven’t truly chosen. And to some extent, that’s true; I don’t have full control over what life brings my way. But I suppose I do have control over my agenda and my time, enough to spend a few minutes in that place of calm, silence, and inner connection, the place of here and now. And I also have the choice to pause, take a deep breath, and reflect before adding anything new to my calendar.
So why is it, if I have the free will to choose how I spend my time and am fully aware of what nurtures me, that I still don’t make room for it? I don’t have a clear answer and I guess I am not alone in this, but I think, at least for me, that all the “doings” and the “must-do’s” take precedence over that pause time. The “doings” are rewarded in our society, and the “must-do’s” remain on the list until something more pressing comes along… then, what once seemed so urgent can easily be downgraded.
I don’t have a formula for integrating a new habit, though there are many books on it. I just wanted to reflect on how essential it is for my well-being to enter that place of silence, and on how much I resist and struggle to make time for it. Perhaps this awareness, this act of writing it down, will help me prioritize it.
And I believe the key is not about finding the time, it’s about making time. It’s about placing this “me-silence-time” on the “must-do” list before it’s too late, before life forces us to stop and make room for it in a harsher way.
Thanks for reading me.
Lots of love,
Núria :)