Questioning and Compassion
On navigating doubt, questioning norms, and choosing compassion over fear.
For many years, I tried to follow the rules. I tried to be everything that was expected of me… and I failed. Even the stability and safety of that old life weren’t enough to quiet my questions about the system, about myself, my values, and my purpose. They weren’t enough to make my curiosity and dreams of a better world disappear.
I see the benefits of the standard path, the mainstream 9-to-5 family life, and I would love to buy into them entirely. I see the stability, security, and inner peace that routines and a steady income can bring. The feeling of being held by something bigger, almost like a parent, is incredibly underestimated.
And yet, I can’t help but question if it’s truly right for me. I really, really can’t. Believe me, I’ve tried… so hard. Some days, I still try. It’s not about wanting to be different, to be seen, or to rebel against the system. It’s not a rational choice. It’s something deeper. It feels as if there’s someone inside me, whispering, guiding me toward a different path. A little voice I’d rather not hear, because listening to it requires immense courage.
But it doesn’t go away.
I guess that little voice… might be ME.
This inner voice that I cannot ignore asks me to take responsibility for myself and my journey, even when my rational mind insists that this is the unwanted path, the difficult, uncertain, and dangerous one. My mind tells me it would be easier to follow the rules, to surrender some responsibility, to make compromises with my values rather than face questions I can’t immediately answer. Questions like: Who am I, and who do I want to be in this lifetime? Why am I here? What impact do I want to create on this precious planet?
The darkest part of this inner battle between my voice and the external world is that when I don’t find answers to these profound questions, I turn on myself. I begin doubting my own being, disconnecting from that little inner voice, and sinking into fear. And that fear is deeply uncomfortable.
And yet, amidst all of this, one word keeps returning to me: COMPASSION.
Compassion to listen to and love that little voice. To accept myself as I am, rebellious, dreamy, a questioner of systems. Compassion, which is so often missing in a world driven by success, likes, and status. A compassion that invites us to embrace ourselves intentionally, with awareness, with care, and with love.
And perhaps this reflection alone brings some light to my questions, perhaps it takes me further on my journey of self-discovery and reconnection. Compassion, joy, care, and love, these are exactly the values I would love to see guiding my life and leading the world.
Lots of love,
Núria :)