The Busyness Competition

The challenge of finding our own voice amidst a society of fixed beliefs and expectations.

While I was preparing my last post for publication, I connected with a reflection I had some time ago. We can read many books about introducing new habits and making space for what nurtures us. Even though we often know what those things are deep down, it remains difficult for some of us.

Yes, I know we are the leaders of our own lives, but I believe that holding onto that affirmation can be naïve; our inner world and life are not always that simple. We live in a society and inherit shared beliefs in order to be accepted and loved, which can sometimes lead us to be unconsciously influenced by them. We tend to do what is easier, follow the crowd, and take the path of least resistance… the mainstream. The fear of rejection and failure is so ingrained in our bodies and systems that we often conform to what others do, living lives not created by ourselves but dictated from the outside. Like a small boat adrift in a vast ocean, we can easily be carried away by the powerful waves of societal expectations, losing sight of our own course and the voice within us.

Here are some systemic beliefs that I think are worth being aware of and remembering:

• The Overemphasis on “Doing”: In the society we live in, the concept of “doing” is often overrated, overshadowing the importance of “being”. This unconsciously pushes us to keep moving and achieving. It requires a significant dose of resilience, awareness, and courage to question this mindset and do things differently.

• Success and worthiness: Status has become a way to measure success and worthiness in our times, along with the need to measure “how-busy-I-am” and to make others see it. I would even say that we unconsciously slip into a competition over who is busier. I guess this is the only way to give ourselves permission to keep doing and moving so fast, it serves as a defense mechanism, allowing us to justify our behavior instead of questioning it, and perhaps realizing that we need to make changes. Or, it may simply be a natural attempt to seek attention and satisfy our basic need to be seen.

• Time is limited: One important thought we sometimes forget is that our time here in this life is limited; it will come to an end for all of us at some point. Being aware of this, not just on a rational level but felt deeply, can inspire us to make better and healthier choices for ourselves.

Yet, even though we live in a society that influences our behaviors and beliefs, it is possible to question and change them. Seeking professional help and connecting with like-minded individuals and communities are essential steps to embrace this challenge.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world” — Mahatma Gandhi

Ultimately, the journey toward nurturing ourselves and reclaiming our voices and choices begins with awareness and the courage to step off the beaten path.

I believe the world needs this kind of courageous questioning.

Thanks for reading me.

Lots of love,

Núria :)

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