Transitioning into the Unknown

A Reflection on Change, Uncertainty, and Life's Cycles

Maybe this is my last period. Maybe these are my last days as a fertile young woman, able to hold life in my body and feel the way I’ve felt for the past thirty-something years. It’s not a small thing. It’s a transition that isn’t visible enough in our Western society.

For those lucky enough to reach the age of menopause, this transition comes naturally. Others may be forced into it earlier by medical intervention or health conditions. And, sadly, some will never make it that far.

Like any profound change in life, this requires embracing the unknown and letting go of the known. Letting go of a familiar body, familiar cycles and feelings, a familiar self; letting go of a familiar life. For some, it may also be a time to grieve for dreams that went unfulfilled with the old self, dreams that are no longer possible in this new stage.

Tons of emotions to process, feelings to confront, and truths to accept.

People often say that life is constant change. Some changes are small, others large. Some are chosen, while others are thrust upon us. Some happen naturally, in alignment with life’s processes, while others arrive suddenly and violently. Some changes are dreams fulfilled, while others are nightmares that unfold. Some occur quietly and privately, while others are loud and visible. But every single change brings uncertainty and requires letting go of the known. And only some changes come with an extra dose of grief as we part with people, things, identities, or phases we’ll never regain.

Tons of emotions to process, feelings to confront, and truths to accept.

Being in this space of uncertainty, this in-between of “young and old,” makes me reflect on my younger self and the girls stepping into their teenage years. I see you, I feel you, and I am filled with compassion for you as you navigate those changes. I can’t help but notice the parallels between the two transitions. In both cases, we leave behind a body and self we’ve known, stepping into an unfamiliar version of ourselves that we’ve never experienced before. Watching and feeling your body change without knowing what’s next can be scary in so many ways, bringing countless questions to the surface.

Though I’m at a different life stage than teenage girls, I feel we share some of the same fundamental questions:

• How will I feel in this new body?

• Will I still be loved?

• Will I still be able to love?

• Who am I, if not the person I’ve been until now?

And, of course, some questions come uniquely with aging:

• Will I still be able to LIVE and LOVE in capital letters?

• Will I still find joy and laughter?

• Will I still be able to create and bring beauty into the world?

• Is this the End?

Too many questions for a brain to carry alone.

This post is an attempt to create awareness and bring compassion to something that many of us, as girls and women, have faced, are facing or will face. It’s for all the women who came before me and thought they didn’t have a voice, for those who will come after me, and for all the open-hearted men who deeply care about the women in their lives.

Lots of love,

Núria :)

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